Most folks who have used water for cleaning after toileting, can appreciate the efficiency of bidets for peripheral (around the anal area) cleaning – particularly for persons of hairy ass-ed European descent such as myself.
Similarly, the usefulness of the ‘bidet’ or ‘feminine’ function in bidets for ladies is fairly obvious. The popularity of hand-held models stands testament to their unparallelled efficiency in catering for both of the above needs.
The reason for an enema function on toilet seat bidets, does however remain somewhat obscure for many people.
Back when I was a kid, an enema was something rather distasteful that older persons sometimes did – usually on a doctor’s recommendation – to clean the lower part of the colon as an aid in de-toxification; usually to assist in recovery from some specific illness. This was quite an involved procedure where the patient lay on their side while an anal probe (with hose attached) was inserted into the anus. The other end of this hose was connected to a container filled with luke-warm water. An assistant then raised this above head height, and waited until all this water drained into the lower section of the patients bowel. The probe was removed, and with the patient instructed to keep their anal passage closed, he/she was moved to the toilet pan where they defecated in the normal way. This process was usually repeated several times – until the water coming out was clear.
This medical procedure is also widely practiced in traditional Chinese medicine, where the warm water is usually a tea made from specific herbs to treat a particular ailment.
While terminology may be the same, the enema function of modern bidets is not an enema in the true medical sense as has just been outlined above. Rather, it is a very effective way of cleaning just inside the anal passage for the first 50-100mm.
And why do some people need this, and others not?
To put it bluntly; some people have efficient elimination where the poo is usually firm and slips out as one (or several) fairly solid “logs.” Wha-hoo for you – welcome to the world of kangaroos, sheep, goats, rabbits and the like where poo is properly dried and pelletised in the bowel before exiting.
The rest of us (myself included) mostly do softer poos where some of the fecal matter often gets trapped in the thousands of small wrinkles that make up our anal muscle. Trying to get your ass clean with just dry paper, when you have softer consistency poos like this is nearly impossible (and usually also painful). People who have “roids” will also readily verify this truth. ‘Even a hand-held bidet is not so good at getting the gunk out of internal wrinkles.
People who suffer from IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) usually have this problem on a more or less permanent basis. Failure to get the anal passage adequately clean after defecating often results in an annoying anal itch, and when you scratch there: the embarrassment of skidmarks on undies.
Enter the “Enema Function” of toilet seat bidets.
After you have finished your Poo:
- Hit the Enema button on electronic models, or open the valve on other types and the bidet wand extends and shoots an aerated stream of water straight up the old “channel O”. With efficient models you can actually feel the water filling the bottom part of your colon.
- Close the valve and the washing nozzle disappears. Release your anal muscle and the water is released together with all the bits of ‘gunk’ that otherwise would be left festering there until the next bowel movement. Repeating this process 2 or 3 times is usually enough to get your sphincter absolutely sparkling clean!
- Now you must attend to cleaning up around the anal area. I personally find a hand held bidet does this job the best – its also great for washing down the toilet bowl afterwards.
One of the things not well explained with the enema function in toilet seat bidets; Releasing the water (and poo remnants) after using the enema water jet, will result in bits of fecal matter being splattered around the toilet bowl – and sometimes above the flush line of the toilet pan. Unless you also have the convenience of a hand held bidet for washing this off, just flushing the toilet will not remove this high-flying residue, and so artful use of the toilet brush is also usually required to leave the toilet in a suitable ‘pristine’ state for the next customer.
This is a small price to pay for the convenience of the enema function. Another invaluable use is for persons who suffer from constipation – but more on this in a future post because this important issue certainly warrants more than just a passing mention.
In the meantime: be green, be clean & stay happy!